Information overload
While it’s really good be informed and have a basic understanding of the challenges and emotions of becoming a dad, it is possible to overdo it. Don’t feel the need to read every parenting book or listen to every ‘how to parent’ podcast.
A lot of pressure can come from social media and reading posts, seeing pictures or watching videos about the “perfect” dad or mum. It can be incredibly intimidating if you feel you are not meeting that standard.
Everyone’s an expert
So many friends and family members all of a sudden became experts on parenting when my first child was born and felt the need to tell me what should or shouldn’t be done.
I found the opinions of these people not only often varied, but also made me want to avoid spending time with them, leaving me feeling quite isolated at a time when I definitely needed support. Learn whose experience and opinions are helpful and take the rest with a grain of salt.
Go outside your comfort zone
Sign up for an antenatal class for both you and your partner. Although I initially found it a very awkward and uncomfortable experience, I eventually realised everyone was feeling the same and it ended up being the most valuable experience in terms of preparing for the realities and emotions of fatherhood.
Build strong family foundations
Take time to work on your relationship with your partner and talk about the parents you want to be in terms of your values and beliefs.
I quickly learned that it was the relationship between the two us of us that really needed be stable, as it was this that formed the solid foundation of our family.
Working together as a team, naming and acknowledging emotions, and being on the same page made a big difference to my emotional response to being a new parent.
Identify that feeling
Effective communication is a key tool to help manage strong emotions as a new parent. Whether it’s reaching out for help from friends, family or health professionals, or just being able to be vulnerable with your partner and telling them that you’re feeling overwhelmed, struggling or not coping, talking - not withdrawing - is an important first step in helping to improve your life.
